Posted by: mindyourknitting | June 13, 2009

Open Letter to the Rabbit Family that Resides in our Yard

Dear Rabbit Family,

I regret startling you with a loud “SHOO” this morning, as I was not able to communicate the following points to you.  Please take note:

1) I do not appreciate you eating my flowers.  These are the same flowers I planted the previous evening in a rare free moment.  Imagine my surprise when, upon looking out my front door very early this morning, I saw two little baby bunnies munching on my garden.  This resulted in the shooing, which was well deserved, I think.  What used to be a pretty, tall, perky plant with little pink flowers now looks like this:

Et tu, Bunny?

Et tu, Bunny?

This situation has necessitated the drafting of this letter, in which we must address several points.

2) When we originally drew up the tenancy agreement last summer, it concerned a single rabbit.  The agreement stated that this rabbit would be allowed to live in peace in our yard, having as its permanent residence a burrow under the shed in the backyard.  We also allowed it right of passage through a number of holes dug under our fence, so that it could leave the yard whenever it desired.    Given what I witnessed this morning, there are at least two additional occupants this summer, both of which are minor child-bunnies.  This leads me to two conclusions: the original occupant was a girl bunny, and she made good use of the tunnels under the fence to roam the neighbourhood looking for boy bunnies.  And found one.

3)  Clearly the minor child-bunnies (are there only two?  Surely more than that will violate the fire code regulations of our garden shed) have not been instructed in what “acceptable” behaviour in our yard is, otherwise we would not have had the incident this morning.  While flowering annuals might be a tasty breakfast, the feeding and care of baby bunnies must fall solely to the parent bunny.  Which leads me to my next point:

4)  Room does not include board.  We have respected your living space, and have very considerately not flooded your dwelling or filled up your escape tunnels with dirt, so please respect that you cannot eat our gardens with abandon.  This goes double for the herb garden I just planted.  In the spirit of cooperation, however, I invite you to dine on as many dandelion plants as you wish.  We have an abundance of these in your vicinity.  Also, one less hosta would not  be a tragedy, so feel free to add those to your diet.

5)  Have you considered moving?  I’ve seen the gardens in our neighbourhood, and they are spectacular.  Or perhaps it is time for the kids to venture out on their own.

6) Please take these points under consideration and take appropriate steps as necessary.  We have no desire to take further action, which may include such measures as opening a door to the backyard when one of our cats is nearby or allowing the other landlord to enact his plan of luring you to the barbecue.

Sincerely,
Management

p.s. If you could hold still long enough for me to take your picture (especially the babies) that would go a long way to repairing our relationship.

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Responses

  1. This is really funny!!!!!! We used to have a random neighbourhood cat that left us “presents” in our garden… no, not mice, but poop. Yuck.

  2. […] where there are coyotes.  And the coyotes would be especially drawn to our house because of our co-habitating rabbits.”  So for the last few days I’ve had “A dingo ate my baby!” running […]

  3. […] over-enthusiastic about the arrival of good weather?  And, soon after, I was a bit perturbed by the bunny/bunnies that decided to wage war on my carefully planted annuals?  Well, folks, Mother Nature and her minions have decided to screw with me yet again this year, […]


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