Posted by: mindyourknitting | February 16, 2010

Stuff and Nonsense

Have you ever had one of those days when you think that if the universe provides you with one more, one single more, option, your head will explode?  It will just shoot clean off your shoulders, heading for the heavenly firmament,  leaving a trail of confetti and sparkles in its wake? 

Today was that day.  Standing here, at this point in time, on this square of the globe, I can see my life heading in so many different directions, so many options, am pulled so many ways, that it is making me spinny.  And none of these options are big and life altering, but then again, maybe they are.  They are just small deviations from the current path, with potentially big consequences.  One immediate work-related choice was sort of made for me today and it worked out just fine, really it worked out in my best interest and that of several other people and was kind of what I wanted to happen now, but the other option is something I want eventually and that same decision could loom again a few months from now.  And for some of the choices that may be before me I need more information and more time and certain things to happen and other things to fall into place, and in some cases I just have to work for it (yes that was a oh-so-subtle reference to my thesis), but they could all happen.  Everything could change in the next few months to a year, and then again everything could be the same a year from now.  And I can’t decide which I would prefer, in most cases.

 If I could have a conversation with the universe right now I would say, “Universe, what are you so desperately trying to tell me?  To be happy with what I have?  To always seize opportunity when it presents itself?  To not be afraid of change, or to know when you have enough on your plate and be satisfied?”  So,  in the midst of all this contemplation, because I am nothing if not practical (and tidy), I cleaned out our fridge tonight and threw out half a dozen bottles of expired salad dressing.  Apparently the answer I got from the universe was “Eat More Salad.”  Great. 

Forty-two.

How do you approach change, big and small?  Do you think it’s the best thing ever, or do you err on the side of nuclear mental meltdown?   Apparently I deal with stress by eating all the peanut butter squares left in my mailbox by a certain friend of mine who has conned me into returning her library books while she vacations in Florida.  She also managed to convinced me it was my idea to return the books and really she’s doing me a favour by loaning me the next book club book…I know a bribe when I see taste one, LL.  And it tastes like victory.

And another thing – this post is brought to you courtesy of a largely sleepless night, which was sponsored by a (possibly teething or nightmarish but most definitely wakeful) baby.  Remind me to write another post about how much co-sleeping suuuuu-huuuu-uuucks and really doesn’t ever, ever work for us and how we shouldn’t bother when, every six months or so, we try it out of desperation.  I’d write it today but I’ve been kicked in the head by baby toes too many times in the last 24 hours and am probably oxygen-deprived on account of the 19-month-old that slept sprawled across my throat last night to string those sentences together right now.

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Responses

  1. I’m sorry it’s been rough. 2010 is really kicking your ass so far! So this is what I tell myself during the difficult periods:

    Everything in nature improves with heat or pressure. Coal turns into diamonds, silicon crystallizes into quartz, ore releases its gold. We are the same way.

    As far as change is concerned, I live by a sort of roots/branches philosophy. I love novelty and change in my own life, but certain things stay the same: annual family reunions, my parents’ home, traditions and rituals. They help me feel rooted and secure while the rest of me is free to take risks and try new things.

    Anyway, hope that helped a little bit. Things wil get better soon!

  2. My ass is thoroughly kicked too. I’m sorry. Hang in there.


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